GQ // Bermuda Is the Best Place to Find Hidden, Almost-Private Beaches

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"One day you may be able to afford you own private beach, but it the mean time you can fake it till you make it with these almost-secret beaches."

It’s time we all admitted something that nobody is talking about: beaches can really suck.

On no normal day would I want to spend hours among hundreds of half naked strangers, or be wedged between a random sunburned guy clad in a miniature speedo and tons of over-enthused beach goers kicking around sand in what can only be explained as a ploy to build a sand castle in my mouth. And If you’re not tormented by the views of scarlet red peeling skin or a mouth (and bathing suit) full of sand, just consider the cringe-worthy display of the peacocking “gym guy” that has finally made his way to the beach to show-off the “beach body” he spent the last 9 months cultivating.

But admittedly, stripped of all human factors, a day at the beach is a beautiful gift from nature, even for us skeptics. And even better than a beautiful beach is a beautiful beach with nobody else on it. Get ready to lay out in your tiny speedo, kick up a sandstorm in every direction you can figure, and develop a weird sunburn all your own–this beach is all yours, king.